Darling Son
Your pre-school begins tomorrow. And it just hit me. Its just the beginning. You are taking your first steps into this huge world. The lifelong circus of being governed by time is starting. After this life will be all of schedules, time tables and rules and regulations. Everything will be managed by time.
Till now you were a free spirit. The sense of rules and regulations were more of an exploration for you. But beginning now, these rules will "rule" you. It's not the studies I am worried about at all. You can learn whatever and however you want. There is going to be absolutely no pressure from our side for that. You can go at your pace and interest.
It's the "being governed by time" bit that I am overwhelmed about. Till now you have woken up, slept, ate, played, cried, everything according to your own terms. Now its going to be according to the clock, at least to some extent. And this is just the beginning.
My heart is so heavy when I imagine the future years of your life. Now don't get me wrong. It's an extremely beautiful world out there. And I am sure you are going to create your own small beautiful world amongst it as well. Its exciting, it's challenging, and its fun. And you are going to enjoy each and every moment of it. But still as I think of the past 2.5 years of your precious little life, I am sad now as I think of your future. The free spirited nature will be lost in this tumultuous yet exciting ride. It is just the start. Being governed by time. By rules. Being a part of a larger group. You are so used to being the center of our universe. You still are. But out there, you will have to accommodate other universes as well, while keeping your own little universe intact. These coming days and years are going to be so great, you have no idea. You are going to experience happiness, sadness, friendships, jealousy, competition, everything. And there will be a wonderful experience and learning while going through all these emotions.
Its just a pre-school, I know and there is no need to get so emotional. But I am, because this first step out of the door is the most difficult for anyone, especially me. I have never parted you more than a couple of hours, and dad was beside you then. Now I have to share you with the world. I have to share you with your friends and teachers. Gradually as I think about it, your need for my physical touch has also gone down. You were like a monkey just a couple of months back, always clinging to me. Hugging me used to give you immense happiness and comfort. You are much more independent now. You don't even insist on being picked up on our walks, unless you are very tired. I used to get so irritated by your constant need of clinging on to me. Now I look forward for your hugs. I don't let go of a single moment where you demand my attention, physical or otherwise.
Its happening baby. You are growing up. You have clear opinions on what you need, how you need it and when you need it. And I am so very happy and proud of you. Thank you for the most memorable years of my life. I have thoroughly enjoyed your first 2 years of life (However much I may have cribbed and complained) you have been the best baby anybody could have asked for. And now I understand and put my faith in the cliché, that a child is always a baby for its parents, however old he or she gets.
So go forward with confidence, march on my little one. The world is opening its doors ,go and make your mark , just like the one you made in our hearts.
