9 things from 9 years of marriage

Marriage is a beautiful commitment if you choose the right person. Marrying my best friend was my best life decision.

So here are my Nine preachings ☺️ from nine years of togetherness. 

1.  There's no such thing as a perfect marriage.  You eventually learn to live with, expect,ignore, sort out and even enjoy the imperfections..!🎊

2."Don't marry someone you can live with, Marry someone you cannot live without "      

             WRONG.  

Marry someone you can talk to.♥️

I cannot stress this enough. 

After 9 years there may not be new or interesting topics to discuss .But we know we can talk endlessly for hours and not get bored.. (Or I can talk and he can listen) 😃

(As for the "cannot live without " part, as someone rightly said..in a healthy relationship your partner should be your want, not your need).

3. Respect each other's differences and opinions.  It is not necessary to agree on every little thing. As long as you are on the same page with important stuff like parenting, finances etc the other things don't matter much in the long run. However, respect is a must.

4. Laugh. The goal is to laugh forever with someone you can take seriously. 

Laughing at the same jokes, sharing a "yeah, I know" look in the midst of a crowd... it's priceless! 😊 Having your inside jokes which doesn't need any further explanations are something everyone should experience. 

Humor bonds you in an inexplicable way!

5. In every good marriage it pays sometimes to be a little deaf 🤣 🤣this might just be the most important one of them all ..!

VERY VERY IMPORTANT!! (You will thank me later for this).

6. Spend some quality time together.  Just the two of you. Sometimes being a parent, a home maker makes being a couple take a backseat. A break from routine life once in a while is necessary.🥰 It doesn't have to be elaborate date nights. A simple meal just for your loved one in a way he likes it. Relish the meal together. Or discuss a movie/book together. It bonds you better than a date night. 

7. Expect and accept change. People change, life changes. It may not be as exciting as before, however it is more stable and sorted as your relationship matures.😇 

8. Be generous with compliments. Acknowlegde, Appreciate...Because c'mon, seriously who doesn't love some praise ??

9. Hold no grudges. By all means argue. An argument may end in an agreement or an impasse.  However it is important that your feelings are out in the open for your spouse to see 😊 He or she may or may not understand but you should not hold on to  that baggage.

Bonus Tip:

(Because it is difficult to stop talking/typing once you start doing it).

Enjoy the smaller moments. Because that is what makes your life memorable. After all we live once, enjoy your life with your partner and make it a happy one. 

Happy 9th wedding Anniversary to us..!!🎉🎊🎂

Emotional Post!

Darling Son

Your pre-school begins tomorrow. And it just hit me. Its just the beginning. You are taking your first steps into this huge world. The lifelong circus of being governed by time is starting. After this life will be all of schedules, time tables and rules and regulations. Everything will be managed by time.

Till now you were a free spirit. The sense of rules and regulations were more of an exploration for you. But beginning now, these rules will "rule" you. It's not the studies I am worried about at all. You can learn whatever and however you want. There is going to be absolutely no pressure from our side for that. You can go at your pace and interest.

It's the "being governed by time" bit that I am overwhelmed about. Till now you have woken up, slept, ate, played, cried, everything according to your own terms. Now its going to be according to the clock, at least to some extent. And this is just the beginning.

My heart is so heavy when I imagine the future years of your life. Now don't get me wrong. It's an extremely beautiful world out there. And I am sure you are going to create your own small beautiful world amongst it as well. Its exciting, it's challenging, and its fun. And you are going to enjoy each and every moment of it. But still as I think of the past 2.5 years of your precious little life, I am sad now as I think of your future. The free spirited nature will be lost in this tumultuous yet exciting ride. It is just the start. Being governed by time. By rules. Being a part of a larger group. You are so used to being the center of our universe. You still are. But out there, you will have to accommodate other universes as well, while keeping your own little universe intact. These coming days and years are going to be so great, you have no idea. You are going to experience happiness, sadness, friendships, jealousy, competition, everything. And there will be a wonderful experience and learning while going through all these emotions.

Its just a pre-school, I know and there is no need to get so emotional. But I am, because this first step out of the door is the most difficult for anyone, especially me. I have never parted you more than a couple of hours, and dad  was beside you then. Now I have to share you with the world. I have to share you with your friends and teachers. Gradually as I think about it, your need for my physical touch has also gone down. You were like a monkey just a couple of months back, always clinging to me. Hugging me used to give you immense happiness and comfort. You are much more independent now. You don't even insist on being picked up on our walks, unless you are very tired. I used to get so irritated by your constant need of clinging on to me. Now I look forward for your hugs.  I don't let go of a single moment where you demand my attention, physical or otherwise.
Its happening baby. You are growing up. You have clear opinions on what you need, how you need it and when you need it.  And I am so very happy and proud of you. Thank you for the most memorable years of my life. I have thoroughly enjoyed your first 2 years of life (However much I may have cribbed and complained) you have been the best baby anybody could have asked for. And now I understand and put my faith in the cliché, that a child is always a baby for its parents, however old he or she gets.

So go forward with confidence, march on my little one. The world is opening its doors ,go and make your mark , just like the one you made in our hearts.

Scraps

எத்தனை எத்தனை மாற்றங்கள் 

எத்தனை மாற்றங்கள் .. எத்தனை மாறுதல்கள் ..

அதில் தான் எத்தனை சுவாரஸ்யங்கள் !!

சேய்யாய் இருந்தேன் ..

காதல் கணவனுக்கு சேவை செய்யும் தாரமானேன் ..

பின்பு எனக்கென்று  ஓர் சேய் ..

எத்தனை எத்தனை மாற்றங்கள் ..

அதில் தான் எத்தனை தடுமாற்றங்கள் !!

இந்த மாற்றத்தில் காதல் காணாமல் போனதா ,

இல்லையெனில் .....

காதலும் நம்மை போல்  உருமாறியதா ??

எத்தனை எத்தனை மாறுதல்கள் ...

அதில் தான் எத்தனை உருமாறுதல்கள் !!

...........................................

காதலுடன்  ஓர் உரையாடல்! 

இன்பான காதலே ..

என் வாழ்வில்  அது எங்கே  என்று கேட்டேன்..

அதற்கு காதல் கூறிய பதில் இதோ...

குட்டி குட்டி கோபங்கள்

சின்ன சின்ன சண்டைகள்

ரசிக்கவைக்கும் ஊடல்கள்

ஏங்க வைக்கும் கொஞ்சல்கள்

மிஞ்சவைக்கும் கெஞ்சல்கள்..

இதில் இல்லையா காதல்? 

அவனுக்கு  பிடிக்காது என்பதால் நீ இழந்தவைகளும் ....

உனக்கு பிடிக்கும் என்பதால்

அவன் கற்றுக்கொண்டவைகளும் தானே காதல் !

உனக்கான அவன் தவிப்பும்...

அவனுக்காக உன் அக்கறையும் காதலே !

அவன் மீதான உன் பொய் கோபமும்

உன் மீது அவன்  இடும் பொய் சண்டையும்

தான் உங்கள் காதல் !!

காதலின் வடிவம் மாறும் 

அதன் வலிமை மாறுமோ ?

Invention to fashion

This post is a small attempt to understand how fashion actually starts. Something crazy or stupid all this while suddenly becomes fashion. It had always been a question mark to me. Suddenly loosely stitched pants named Patiayala becomes the season and within months it fades off, there coming leggings sticking to your legs comfortably sometimes even making others to wonder if there is something worn below. And now comes Jeggings, an improved version of leggings, jeans in the format of leggings…and that’s jeggings.. Those who love denim, this should be loved too.. This is with respect to attire.. The same holds for hair style, slippers, bangles and anything.

What I am about to tell is the invention of fashion in placing hair clips. Sounds crazy no…? But that is fashion.. Anything crazy done with attitude becomes the latest in trend…!!

Fashion in placing hair clips.. Hair clips are meant to be in hair.. but it is found in every other place than it is meant to be. In hand, wrist, fingers, clothes, sometimes ever collar.

The other day, I came out of the parlour with a new hair cut. Came out as if I had achieved something. Yet the irony is I have lost something only…!! Anyway the damage is done.

The beautician told me not to clip it for sometime at least till I reached home since it needs to set. Is it cement to set with the base?? No questions.. I agreed..! My home was hardly 5-7 mins from the place with my bike. I didn’t know where to place the clip. I thought of keeping it under seat box but I will forget it by the time I reach home. (my forgetfulness is so bad), did not like the idea of clipping it my dress. My purse would not close if I keep my clip. Mind you, it was only a tiny foldable purse and not hand bag. So this clip was giving me a problem. So out of the need to keep it somewhere, I clipped it to my watch strap. And that moment I never knew I was creating a new roar.

Well.. I clipped it to my watch strap in such a way it was hanging downsides. I had put it purposely in such a fashion so that it would at least look decent never knowing what an impact it would be making in few minutes. Hardly ten feet would I have crossed, I stopped and applied brake because a group of college girls were crossing the road from the opposite chat shop. It was an early evening of Saturday so not much traffic was there. So it was only me who was waiting for this group to cross. They saw me (they actually turned to see the road and noticed me) and my beautiful clip clinging to the watch. And one of them.. “Hey look at that.. super idea la.. idhan new fashion pola.. naammalum inime adhae try pannalaam” started speaking in tanglish pointing to my clip. I gave one stupid smile and weird expression on hearing that. That was totally unexpected. One of them was even trying to copy it there itself. Left the place immediately not knowing if I should be proud of it or not. Came home and the first thing I did was, check myself in the mirror, not for the hairstyle but for the newly acclaimed fashion. It was actually cool. Enjoyed at the new invention for few minutes and turned to see my mom staring at me. She was giving a sharp look for the haircut and then saw the clip hanging happily in my watch. She didn’t ask anything but gave a naughty smile at me.

That’s when I understood how fashion is actually discovered. Err. Is it discovered or invented..? I would prefer invention because this was not existed before and coming out for the first time out of creativity. Thus whenever I see some weird dress or hair style, I would think to myself the origin of it and smile to myself.

Vizhiyil oru Vaazhkai

Naan Ipo Periya Doctor. Ennai nambi pala peiyar dhinamum varaanga. Aana Ipo naan yen Sujiyai paarka poyikundu irukiren. Ava enakaga kaatru kondu irupaal.

Suji.. Avalai naan mudhal muraiyaai, mudhalam aandu maruthuvathil than paarthen. Apdi oru azhagu. Adhu azhagu kooda ila, oru maadiri lakshanam. Deviga kalai. Andru Dissection class. Aval yen pakathil than nindral… Ilai ilai naan aval pakathil nindren. Ange Cadaverin parts a describe panni kondu irundaar lecturer. Aval mugam suringiyadhu, andha pinathai paarthu. Satru nerathil aval yen thol mel. Aam, Suji mayangi vittal. Mayangiyathu enovo aval aanal veyarthadu enovo ennaku. Konja neram kazhithu aval kann muzhital. Vekkathil mugam sevandhathu. Thanks endru solivittu sendral. Andru Suji ennidim mudhal muraiyai pesinal. Vaanathukum boomikum ulla idaivelai kuraindhadu…!!

Moondru madhathukul aval naanum nalla nanbargal aanom. Engum ondraga dan selvom. Avalaku ennai pidithathu. Andru, En piranthal naal.. Kaalaiyil en alai pesi alariyadhu.. Adhu yen Suji dhan. Sirithu konde eduthen. “Hi suji, Sollu..!” “Happy Bday da.. Hey ipo dhan ezhundirikiya…? Ada paavi.. inikaachu kuli da..!!” Ila Ila naan kulichi koviluku kooda poitu vanduthen endren ..!! Suji keetal.. “so iniku enna special?” onnum ilama usual college ku vara vendiyathu dan..! Hey college a.. Iniku no college.. full day yen kooda dhan.. neraiya plans iruku.. so half an hour la ne enga hostel ku vaa..namma polam…!!

Ennal andha anbu kattalaiyai niragarika mudiyalai… Andru dhan en vaazhaikin maraka mudiyadha naal. Movie ku ponom, restaurant la saptom, beach ku ponom, neraiya pesinom.. neraiya.. ellam “sweet nothings”…! Apodhu naan ketten.. Suji, naama eppo first sandichom nu gyabagam iruka?? Aval satrum yosikamal sonnal.. Hmmm.. nalla.. Dissection class la.. Na mayakam pottu vizhudha podhu. Naan sirithu konde ketten “Enna baiyam apo..??” first time la adhan konja nervous agiten.. Ipo nooru pinam kooda veyu, naa dhil a nipen. Adhuku naan ketten.. apidiya, oru nalaiku ennoda pinathai paarthal ne ipdi dhan irupiya?? Aval ennai uttru paarthal.. mounam aanal.. Pinbu sonnal..”Ila da.. ne engaiyum poga mata.. en kudave irupa.. na unnai epodhum paarthu konde irupen” Naangal sirithom…! Sernthu sirithom!!

Aval kilambum neram vandhadhu.. Auto kul aval.. veliye naan.. “Ennaku ne Bday gift ye tharala?” endru naan keten.. “Apdiya.. nalla yosichi paaru.. naa koduthachu.. ennavida costly vum periya gift yaarum kuduthirka maatanga…inimel kuduka vidavum maaten” Auto Sendradhu.. avaludan en manadhum dhan! Satru neram andha auto pogum padhaiyai paatru vittu ulle vanden. Kaadal ennai aravanaithadu… Naan ennakule sirithu konden… Avalai patri yosithen.. Vanathil midhande! Hmmm.. kaadalin kirukuthanagal enakum vandu vittudu pola..!! Avlo santhosham kodutha kadavuluku nandri sonnen… Evalo neram apdi irunden nu ennuku theriyadhu.. Pinbu suyanenaivuku vandu alaipesiyil avaluku call seithen.. “enna suji, poi serndhiya??”

Vandha bathilil en vaazhkai irundhadhu… Pesiyathu aval ilai.. traffic inspector.. Aval ponna auto Accident.. Spot death.. Spotku vara sonnar inspector.. angu sendru paarthen.. Sujiyai ambulance-il yettri kondu irundargal… Sujiyin mugam muzhuvadhum ratham… Thudithen.. Azhudhen.. Kadarinen.. En suji thirumbi varave ilai…!! Kadavulin vilaiyathu apodhu dhan purindhadhu.. “indha thunbathai thaanga than avlo santhoshamum.. Indha ninaivugale ennaku podhum”.

Indru 5 aandrugal agivithadu.. En suji engum poga velai.. avalai paarka dan naan poi kondu irukiren.. Avalum ennai paarka kaatru kondu irupaal… Aam.. oru kanadi bottle-il aval kann ennai epodhum paarthu kondu dan irukum.. En Suji adhu…!!

(Apologies for the transliteration done. Could not avoid this due to some "technical difficulties")

The Touch of God

There are certain things which are beyond the expression of words. It was one of the gloomiest days of work. The previous night fight with a "CLOSE FRIEND" followed by sleeplessness made the morning a very sober one. I was in no mood to go for work. I knew I would not be able to give my best at the day's work. Still I started because it was much better than to stay at home and answer my mom's questions.
My day was going uneventful until evening.Ii was not in my usual cheerful mode to my patients. Just made it a professional way. Only during the end of my day's work, the secretary came in and told there was a VIP patient waiting and to be checked at the earliest since she is some 85 years old. I grumbled to myself, i hate VIP patients because the check up required an extra care and an artificial plastered smile during the whole testing. I loathed myself. I was definitely in no mood to smile. I read the name in the file, "RALAPALLI SITALAKSHMI".. Sounded strange.. I just called the patient in an usual tone (with no extra stress)!!
The old lady made to the room slowly with a walking stick. "Her poised smile makes me feel very uneasy", I thought to herself. I started my usual work up but I definitely felt something unnatural there. Was it the old lady's presence??, No.. I was just imagining things. I continued. I asked her to read her the testing chart. She did not read properly, she was stumbling and reading out in effort. She infact read only two lines less than normal. It was almost okay for her age. For no reason, I felt pathetic for her difficulty in reading. I told her to take her own time and read slowly. This is was definitely not me. What is wrong with me?? I have even seen patients with no perception of light as a unequaled medical professional. There was no reason for me to be so compassionate about her.
I almost finished my routine check up and was about to send the patient. She also started to leave, she crossed me and went, but then she came back a few steps to me...... She kept her hand on my head and told, "Bless you my child, you are adorable.. You are undergoing some turmoil within yourself, everything will be fine by today... Believe me child" I was totally speechless and stunned for few minutes. I searched for words to reply but all I could manage was a smile. Believe me guys, the moment she touched my head I felt something within myself. I felt like something was taken out of me. Just within a fraction of minute things changed.

Miracles are miracles. The moment she went out of the room, all I wanted to do was speak to my friend. I found no ego problem in talking first. I searched for my mobile. But again a surprise was waiting for me.. There was an unread message waiting for me to open. It was from my friend, the same friend who fought with me. I opened it excitedly. It read, "I am really sorry da.. I would have really hurt you a lot... I am really really sorry.. Speak to me if possible.. I am waiting.. Miss you" It was like some magic to me.. It was sent exactly some few minutes ago when the old lady was keeping her hands on my head. I searched for no logic. Tears were flowing down. I immediately called up and spoke to my friend. I wanted to tell about this to my friend then, but somehow something was stopping me to tell. I felt I might sound stupid and the total incident might be even become absurd. I wanted to relish it within myself.(At least for sometime).
Was the lady a God? Or someone with special powers? Or all these are just my imaginations? But how could so many things be coincidental? Anyway i really did not need any explanations.. RALAPALLI SITALAKSHMI definitely made my day!!!

……..Because she was 22………

Below are some instances... And there is one similarity between all these… Find them??

Hint: The age of the girl is 22.

Incident 1:

She stops an auto to travel to a particular place. He, as usual charges double the rate. She says what she can give and walks off deciding not to enter into any argument. But the auto-driver hesitates for a moment, stops her and accepts the charge she told. She smiles at him and gets into it. (Probably that is what he expected).

Now, the same incident with a small correction.

She travels with her parents. Her dad stops an auto and bargains for 5 minutes and finally settles down for Rs.10 less than the auto driver. But if she was alone, she would have travelled just for half the rate of this.

Inference of the story…???!!

Incident 2:

She enters a supermarket. Buys shampoo and conditioner. When the bill is put she notices that shampoo is priced less than MRP while conditioner on the same price of MRP. It was just a matter of a rupee of so but still she asks for the reason. The person on the counter, without any answer, changes the bill by reducing the amount of the conditioner as well and hands over the new bill with a sly smile. She smiles back, thanks him, pays the bill and walks off.

Now if she enters the supermarket with her mother. Buys her shampoo and also other groceries as well. While billing her mom asks why conditioner alone is priced more than MRP, he says it is some programming mistake, cannot change it immediately. Her mother sighs at him, scold at the price hike and move off.

Inference of the story…???!!

Incident 3:

She enters a vegetable shop to buy vegetables. She walks down to pick some tomatoes. The person in the shop instantly comes to her help, asks how much kilos she wants, picks up the best quality tomatoes of the lot, puts them in a bag, in fact puts some free curry leaves on her bag and sends to billing counter. All she has to do is pay the bill, give a thankful smile at the helpful vendor and walk out of the shop with the curry leaves as well and the maximum discount.

Now with her mother, she enters a vegetable shop and purchases few vegetables of their own. The person standing near-by doesn’t show any willingness to assist them. At the billing counter her mom has to fight to for a meager discount and picks up some curry leaves while leaving, and the vendor says grumbling like “people pick up so much since it is for free”. She has to hear so much before she walks out of the shop.

Inference of the story…???!!

Incident 4:

Bus had already started moving from the stop and she was running towards the bus as if she collide with it. She tried her luck by waving her hand to stop. And there, it almost instantly stopped in front of her. The people in the bus gave a grudging look at the conductor because they had just witnessed the bus move a few minutes ago without stopping when a middle aged man to tried to get into it.

Inference of the story…???!!

Inference:

1. The hint is the answer here. All these differences are because she is a grooming 22 year old female. Guys might think how privileged girls are. But the truth is all these privileges are like a double-edged sword which also has its own dangers.

2. I could hear some people shouting, why 22 years when girls have these concessions always. And Some time more when they are in teens. Somehow, the truth is slightly different. Girls are immature, physically and mentally, in their teens. She turns to a woman only in her early twenties. Until then she is just a girl or even a child. And that is why any woman in her 20’s looks drop dead gorgeous even without much make-up and more with them

P.S: 22 years is just an example here and doesn’t mean that girls look bad if she is 21 or 23 years.

P.S:Teenagers need not always be immature in looks and thoughts. It is just a personalized opinion.

3. The woman in these incidents is not a female of ravishing beauty or make heads turn in their First look. She is woman of tan-skinned with the looks of girl next-door. She is a beauty of herself and like any other girl in her age. Because girls are at their best only at this age.